I know you’re all wondering how my Sims are doing…

In the process of writing Failure to Thrive, I spent three months in front of my computer.  Three.  Months.  For several hours each day, I would glue my substantial ass to one office chair or another and write.  On most days, I wrote over two thousand words and then deleted a third to a half of them.  Those were the good days.  On other days, I’d outline, cry, scrap the outline, cry some more, resist the urge to binge drink my troubles away, and fumble eight hundred or so words onto the page.  Every day I promised myself that when the novel was finished, I’d get out of the house, maybe take a walk, see the sunlight, or maybe even try to re-learn my children’s names.

Finally the day came.  On December 21, 2012, I wrote the final word of the rough draft of Failure to Thrive.  I promised myself that I would resist this urge to do nothing until such time as the editing was finished.  Until the last t was crossed and i dotted, I would not rest.  I edited 26 pages.  I started this blog.  Things were going well and THEN….


(that’s Simish for hello or goodbye or something.  I don’t know.)


I’ve been addicted to this game since 2002 but Sims 3 is the best because you spend a lot less time reading stupid books and trying to talk to annoying neighbors and all that.  The “grinding” (I’m told this means pointless repetitive game tasks) has been reduced slightly.  Sure, you don’t have all the options there were in Sims 2 when it comes to face shape and stuff, but who needed all that?  I mean I was practically drowning in choices.

Lilith Stupidhead was my first Sim.  She married Louise.  They adopted Loretta, who married Mitzi and then they adopted Lisa who’s now a teenager with an extraordinary skill set and one published novel under her belt already.  They’re all lesbians.  Sometimes that’s difficult to do cause some guy will walk into the room and they’ll get stupid pink hearts all over their heads, but I got around that by throwing a lot of parties and only inviting women.

Who needs productivity?  I mean sure, sometimes when things are slow at work, the urge to write overwhelms me and I absolutely must write a story about a heavyset teenage girl who sells fake magic as a part time job (more on that in a later post), and yes I have to read In the End by Alexandra Rowland, my latest submission which I’m thoroughly enjoying.  But you know what?  After three months of the most productivity I’ve ever coughed up in my life, it feels damn good to sit in front of my computer and make Lilith write novels until she gets a little frazzled mood alert.

I will still try to find time for hobbies, like mocking the insipid poetry of Richard Blanco at Obama’s second inauguration.  I mean okay it was pretty awesome that we inaugurated a black president for his second term on MLK day and had a gay, Latino poet and all but who can stand the dripping pastoral imagery?  I almost tossed my scrambled egg breakfast when he got to the bit about apple stands, stained glass windows and something something Freedom Tower.  I mean why even have poetry if you’re going to do that to it?  I also found time to write a scathing reply to a recent highly transphobic article by UK feminist Julie Burchill.  You can find that here.  I’ll eventually get back to being a working, productive adult.  Really!

But for now, Lisa aspires to the honor roll and that takes a lot of work.  Also Lilith has got to be about ready to kick the bucket so I have to make sure Louise is ready with her moodlet manager.  My girlfriend wants me to take her ashes to the science lab and restore her ghost when that happens, but I don’t know.  Five is a lot of Sims to manage.  Also I want to buy the biggest house in town and charge everyone a lot of rent.  And I have to catch a robot fish.


Leave a Reply